The antidote to the “feelings conversation” is becoming more aware of our emotional footprint - what emotions we feel comfortable and uncomfortable acknowledging, what emotions we bring from the past, and whether the stories we’re telling ourselves are empowering or true.Most people go into difficult conversations suppressing their feelings, or alternatively, convinced that their feelings are the only ones that matter. The “Feelings Conversation” is about both parties' emotions and their validity.That way, the other person has less room to get defensive. The antidote to the “What Happened Conversation” is to take ownership and focus on the ways we might have contributed to the situation. The “What Happened Conversation” is about who’s “right” and who’s “wrong.” We often view ourselves as victims and thus find ourselves blaming the other for their wrongdoings.Generally speaking there are three types of difficult conversations:.In any difficult conversation, no one person is to fully blame: Both parties contributed to the issue in one way or another.An argument occurs when two people’s shoulds clash. Our ‘shoulds’ or ‘shouldn’ts’ are what get us into trouble in arguments. We’re jumping into conclusions and judgments too fast.We first need to change how we think about them. Difficult conversations are difficult because of how we approach them.They are part of life and pillars for any successful and healthy relationship-business or personal. There’s no point in avoiding difficult conversations.They are opportunities for growth and elevation.
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